An Empty Nester Looking Forward

Bittersweetness of motherhood, how I found my Unicorn and being wrapped in the love of our Blessed Mother.

You will notice that I have changed the name of this writing endeavor of mine. A lot has happened this summer and I have had a chance to think of what to do with myself now that both my living children will be making their own ways. One of the things I have always had an interest in is herbalism, aromatherapy and natural forms of healing. I had pulled away from these things since my conversion. This is due largely to the fact that a lot of formal places of serious study into these topics are very heavily inundated with the new age and witchcraft ideologies, I am grateful to have left behind.

Fortunately, I have found that there are Christian schools for these subjects, and I will be enrolling in one very soon. I am relieved to find others who share my interest and love of God where we all mutually give God the glory for his wonderous creation. As opposed to breaking the first commandment by doing things like, ‘thanking the plant spirits’ as the redeemed former witch I used to be, used to do.

Another thing I found out about over the summer was how the image of the unicorn was used over the ages to represent Christ. In particular how images of a unicorn laying his head in the lap of a virgin, was used to depict the Annunciation. The Annunciation is very special to me, so I clicked with that imagery. There are also images of a unicorn being stuck with a spear and his blood pouring into a chalice that represent the crucifixion and of course, the Eucharist.

In any case this also brought back a memory of when I was a child and had been gifted a fictional book called, “Unicornis: History and Truth of the Unicorn, by Michael Green.” It was beautifully illustrated and actually written as if it was a true copy of real manuscripts that proved the existence of the majestic Unicorn. Within its pages I found out how to tell where a unicorn had been and how I might possibly be able to actually find one! I used to fervently wish so very much to be able to find a unicorn! I looked everywhere! Now as an adult I find out that the Unicorn is a representation of Christ. So, in a way, I really did find my Unicorn when I came into the catholic Church.

All this to show why I named my writings, Apotheca Unicornis. With any luck, I translated that correctly, but if someone wiser than me spots an error, please kindly let me know. Apotheca is actually the storehouse or place where the person who worked with herbs and such to create medicines worked. The person who created the medicine and ran the Apotheca is an Apothecarius. (Hopefully that will be me someday.) Those two words are where we get, Apothecary from apparently. An Apothecary has become a word used for an Apotheca and an Apothecarius it would seem. I will be writing about the same types of things you’ve read so far but now you will get to join me as I attempt to become a Catholic Herbalist. Which is giving me something to look forward to as I am about to become an empty nester.

Speaking of, on the Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, I will actually officially be an empty nester. My daughter will be moving into her dorm at her college where she will begin her studies into Photographic Arts. I am excited for her to be sure! I have looked to this moment somewhat bittersweetly.

I have been remembering all the ‘lasts.’ You know the ones, the ‘lasts’ that you don’t realize were actually ‘lasts,’ until they never happened again. Like the time when my kids came running to me with an ‘owie;’ The last time they crawled into bed with my husband and I because of a storm or nightmare; the last time I nursed them.

This is what parents do though right? We raise them to get to the moment where they can go into the world with all the wonderfulness they epitomize and make their own way. One of the things that I have come to realize is a very special gift God gave mothers, is that we are the first ones to encounter a child’s first signs of life. The first flutters of movement in our wombs, the tiny summersaults within, the outright KICK to one of our internal organs that we forget we have until a tiny human reminds us.

We got to be so very close to these marvelous creatures in a way no one else on earth ever will. That is something no one can take from us. It makes me wonder too, what we all must have felt in our mothers’ wombs. We were as close to her as we were ever going to be and yet we couldn’t see her face or feel her embrace. I wonder if this may be what is happening during times when I feel far from our Blessed Mother. Maybe I am not so far away, maybe our lady has wrapped me up so tightly within her being that the reason I can’t ‘see’ her is because she is actually nearer to me than I realize.